Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize