I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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