Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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