i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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