Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
