Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
