i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
