i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
