Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
