I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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