HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
