plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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