So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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