I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Alive.
So much puke
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
