you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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