my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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