We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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