I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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