i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Actions speak louder than pants.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
