The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
