He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My ass is underappreciated
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize