there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
