shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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