We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
