That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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