is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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