i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
