didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
