seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
