eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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