We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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