watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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