he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
