i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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