garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I look better un-naked...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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