If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize