I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
