apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
