i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
