Screwed.edu
this just has baby written all over it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
