I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
