i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
