i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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