You're my little dorito
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
