you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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