is your mom at the bar?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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