I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize