we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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