Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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