the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm both gender and math confused
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
