His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
