Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
