smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
