some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
