so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
