question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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