i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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