Don't you send me to vm
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
