I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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