I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
