8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
