seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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