Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's always time for handjobs
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
