I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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