i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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