I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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