it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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