I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize