If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
