Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
